I've moved on with my life in pursuing a much for fruitful career path even if things aren't perfect, but there's not a day that goes by where I wonder where my brother and I would be if he were still here. Reminding myself over and over again that I'll always feel like an only child forever now hurts. It hurts and I hate it and I don't get to share stories or tell my own sibling how much I love them or how sorry I am for not being the sister they should have had up until those final days. We were at odds sure but I never wanted this, never even considered I'd have to go through this and in my young naive mind I thought everything would be fine. That people just got better if you let them be and think they'll "tough it out". I'll never make that mistake ever again.
I miss you George. I'll survive and live a fulfilling life and I'll think of you every step of the way and then maybe I can tell you all about it one day.
You don't have to comment on this if you don't want to, I've made it for myself as a tribute and a reminder. I am happy with my life even if I no longer have a brother to share it with.